Second Chances

The beautiful and adored Marilyn Monroe has been credited for this famous saying:

(Though I am genuinely weary of the credibility.) "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure don't deserve me at my best."

Now, while this seems like a demand of respect for someone who is innately human and deserving of it, I see a deeper meaning.

Yes, it would be fantastic if we lived in a world where we had no judgment for our actions, but the reality is, that is not the case. Also, I am a firm believer in second, heck, even third chances. However, these chances are only received when the person is fully deserving of them. For it is only foolish to repetitively give the same individual chance after chance after chance when they don't show a sign of change. No matter how much the person talks up their "changed" behavior, until you can see a significant, measurable change in the person's life, the second chance will be unsuccessful. As your track record probably shows. A hard realization, I know. And goodness, I wish it wasn't this way, trust me.

But now to my point.

Saying 'if you cannot handle me at my worst" could mean a number of things. If you are taking it in a physical manner, translating it to an extent of: "if you cannot handle me with no makeup, in sweats, and a messy bun on my head, then you don't deserve me with a full face in a wedding dress." In this scenario, I can understand and identify with. Unfortunately, I am confident it does not translate to that surface level.

I believe this saying is a sad excuse for someone who was inadequate in a relationship and was left, while maybe feeling a little butt-hurt.

I'm here to tell you, you are under no obligation to give a second (or third or fourth...) chance to someone who is undeserving. You truly must protect your heart above all else. I encourage you to look for significant change before you look to give another chance.

That being said, I am a person that has been given second (and even more) chances by others, and I would like to think I didn't let them down too terribly. Because of this, I do not believe in completely cutting people out of your life because they've wronged you, but I am a believer in keeping those people at a distance until they have a significant change of behavior, including an apology.

It's not about making the right decisions, because you truthfully never know what those are until it's too late. It's about making the wisest decision.

Protect yourself at all costs. After all, you're the one who has to live with you.