In the Weeds

There comes a time when you notice how truly codependent you are as a person. You notice how every decision you make depends on another person, how you feel swarmed with anxiety and stress over your relationship with this person(s), how you will never be able to fall back into the pure state you were once in, before this relationship.

Gosh, I wish I didn't have to say this and I wish you didn't find recognition in these words, but listen here.

This past year has taught me a lot. And I mean A LOT. Most of the tough lessons I've learned, I'll continue to learn, but here is one:

Life without toxic people is freeing.

I struggled. I stumbled. I got caught in poor mental health time and time again. I would wake up too anxious to get out of bed. I would be so fearful of the future, I would shelter myself from certain tasks. I found it difficult to keep my truth straight. I didn't know what to do, it felt like, for anything. Then, finally, through different turns of events, I let go of these people and things giving me anxiety and fear and stress. Was it hard? Yes. Did it hurt? Like none other. But was it worth it? 100%

Here is my conclusion:

The life you have, has been given to you, but it's up to you to decide what you're going to do with it. Don't let other people steal your joy. Don't put your keys of peace into someone else's pockets. Don't depend on others to bring you to a point of contentment. Rather, strengthen yourself, because you're in for a crazy ride.

So I guess what I'm saying is, if you feel heavy or weak or tired from an individual or situation, please, do what you have to do in order to release yourself from it. I promise you it won't be an easy task, but I also promise you it will be a rewarding one.

Trust the process. Trust that you weren't created to be stressed every minute of every day. You were created to grow. Nothing in nature can grow with a weed around it's neck or roots, with stress holding it down. But once the weeds and stress are gone, beauty is in store.